Smth Old Can Be Smth New

I'm moving from one room to another, and in the process, am going through a box of old papers, files, notebooks. To my own surprise, found not only a set of various lists (books, songs, places to visit), but also one of my favorite little poems. I think it's simple & genuine - just the way I like the things on my journey:

* * *
Today - I wish you a day of ordinary miracles...
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't have to make yourself
An unexpected call from an old friend
Green stoplights on your way to work.

I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in...
A good sing along song on th radio
You keys right where you look.

I wish you a day of happiness and perfection - little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you the funny feeling that someone is smiling on you, holding you so gently because you are someone special and rare.
* * *

After Looking So Hard... I Found It

Mr. Pickle Knows Best

I'm really really exhausted right now. It's been an insane weekend of just non-stop 'on-the-go' (all these New Year's conceived babies having their BD's in the same week with the theme of picklejuice & vodka!!!) But even after arriving at my 3rd home - the San Diego Avis office - I find funny Mr. Pickle. My fave sandwich shop in the world is called Pickles too. So I totally LOL myself at another set of - connecting the dots (or, ok, picles!). At least I was awake enough now to drive 40 miles to Carlsbad.

I've had another 2 illuminating human encounters in the last 2 days. I'm wondering if I'm having so many of them because I'm sort of feeling open, and inviting this kind of feedback, thinking, and questioning? In Estonian there's a saying that "One that seeks, shall find" - and I'm truly seeking... AND to my utter surprise - finding! (In certain circumstances, in Estonia, we say that when you look too hard, you won't find... but I'll leave that to another time). So Sun night I madly drive from the cozy mansions of PacHeights to the eclectic vibes of the Mission. Totally happy about going - was just late, nicely trusting my feminine sense of direction that lead me the exact opposite direction. But finally I get to Beretta (totally expecting a Russian revolver theme!)... and 3 tequila-ginger coctails later, I find myself inspired. By this human being that's barely a few years older than me, but that's probably lived 25 more years within that time (and I've been around the block myself!) After dinner -- 4 wholesome, funny, sad, perplexing, tormenting, hopeful, exciting, freeing -- hours later, I walk out, confirming once again that there is not A Right Answer. Society, and certain friends, and at the end of the day - my own inner desires & fears - want to put myself in a box (even be it the "boxless box") and have my life follow a certain timeline, only to realize that the most amazing things happen when you're sort of making other plans. I'd once again like to believe that there's a time to play and a time to chill out a bit, but it comes back to the same - you plan & you plan, thinking if you have X, Y, Z, you'll have the a,b,c you're looking for but you realize that "mad" actually makes you happy. So I'm really letting life take its course. Maybe I should be hustling & bustling right now, forcing myself to find "my spot" but I'm sort of happy just 'sailing' right now - being open for any and all opportunities, people, learnings, discoveries. Some of my revelatory conversations have been with people who's lives by all standard means are just really f*** up. But the fact that they've come out the other end, and have it all f*** much more together - I'll respect that. So from my crazy friends to my crazy family that's never followed the golden midway and just gone with the flow and figured things out - I love that. I won't drift forever, but now - it's listening to the inner voice, and doing whatever I feel whenever I feel it. And that makes me happy. And at the end of the day - that's all that's true. Me. And Happiness.

And when there's a little bit of picklejuice & vodka... or, hey a whole Mr. Pickle... to go with that! I'll take it. Na Zdarovye. Or Terviseks!

The Universe

I got a cute note from The Universe this morning:



"Every single minute of every single day, they're there. They may be hidden behind circumstances, people, or light poles. They're behind challenges, closed doors, or lost keys. Camouflaged, dovetailed, or whispering. Purring, kissing, or hissing. But more often than not, they're laying about in the open, under a clear blue sky, in plain view. Absolutely. Guaranteed they are. 10,000 reasons to be happy."

Life on a screen

On Monday, 1:12am:
Sunday night - I go to bed at 12am. Get up at 4am. Take my
normal 6am flight - 5 hours from San Francisco to
Chicago. Long day at the office (very cool office - all gold & marble private bank and trust).

But then... at midnight I come to the hometel - the W in Chicago, and get upgraded into a suite. My first reaction at the front desk was "ok - thanks". And then I walk into the room, and see this.

I think it speaks for itself. I've never seen anything like this before.

We must enjoy the little things in life. Going to bed, thinking of a new way of thinking of this. The little things.

Hanging with the President of Estonia in SF

The President of Estonia and the First Lady conducted a state visit to the Bay Area over the weekend of June 11-14th. I was supposed to take the First Lady shopping that Friday afternoon, but to my great relief, she preferred just chilling, going to the spa, rather than having yet another occasion to smile and chat. What a relief.

As a compromise, I had the honor of attending that evening's official state dinner - all with 20 US Secret Service guys (very cute!) and an escalade of cars waiting outside the restaurant on the Embarcadero. I'll never look at the Waterfront restaurant the same!

I was surprised how proud I was to be Estonian that weekend! I was rushing down Embarcadero to go for the dinner, when I saw the President's cars pull up, and the First Couple started walking towards the restaurant. Everyone was staring, and as I was rushing by, my hair in the wind - I kept cheerily exclaiming: "That's my President. That's the President of Estonia!" People probably thought - WTF is Estonia? But hey - we still get the Secret Service, bodyguards, and the whole nine yards. I think it was all pretty cool!

Sleepless in Chicago

Good bye San Diego. Welcome Chicago. And "I <3 NYC" in the middle. I've found my way to Chicago again after a 2 year hiatus.

Everything's connected over the last couple of weeks. I fell in love. Again. With my best friend. She's amazing. This falling in love has made me add a new layer to the onion, discover another swirl to life. I feel inspired, enlightened, excited... I FEEL a lot right now, and I have a desire to share. In the spirit of sharing, I'm going to take the uncomfortable leap into the 21st century with this storytelling as well. I resisted for the longest time. I really did. But on this journey, in the cosmopolitan whirlwind of experiences, in the spirit of sharing, and of connecting the dots... I want to connect my countries, my experiences, my childhood, to these experiences. There's lots of things to come on this journey. Hence this blog.

Only time will show us the way. The only way is to start and find out.